reading

So I was reading this book yesterday and there was this incredibly lame joke. It went:

Three strings go to a bar. The first string goes in and asks the bartender for a drink, but the bartender says "I'm sorry we don't serve strings." The string then comes out and tells the other two strings about this. The second string, not believing the first string, then ties himself to the first string and goes in the bar, but is also rejected by the bartender. Frustrated, the third string ties himself to the first two strings and goes into the bar, asking for a drink. At this point, the bartender asks, "Hey! Aren't you one of those strings?" And the string replies "Nope, I'm a frayed knot." Get it? A frayed knot as compared to afraid not?

Ignoring the lame joke, reading does have its benefits. There are also flash videos about reading! Like THIS ONE! Beware the vulgar little bit right at the end. Also this video is NOT anti-Semitic. Verily, I say.

corruption!

To protect the identity of the antagonist of this post, much ado will be made and the bush will be beaten about.

Anyway, testimonials are awesome. Especially when you're in my friend's friend's friend's class. Apparently, he told me that he knows a guy who knows a guy whose teacher allowed them to write their own testimonials for one section of it. Yay for them.

Also, RE is a terrible thing to do.

WoW!

On the way back home today, I saw a cat sitting on a car. Really cute. :3

I also have been playing a lot of WoW on a...*gasp* FREE PRIVATE SERVER!!! Yes, the words *gasp* "free private server" have to be preceded by a gasp, just to show how awesome it is. In this *gasp* free private server, rates are 3x faster, so less grinding is needed, and there is, in fact, more time for level 70 fun.

Anyway, paladins are inherently awesome and imba, which as we all know has two meanings. One, Incredibly Magnificently Brilliantly Awesome, and two, the short form of imbalanced, i.e. good. Well paladins are both! Hahahahaha! Mwaahahahaha! Neeeeheeeheeehee! Kiiishhiiishiisshiiishiii! Ok I'll stop now. Kek.

el postponement

Well Comiccon on Saturday was pretty awesome, but I can't post about it until I get my hands on the highly prized picture of the Kakashang Haitake. Hence, to prevent my blog from rolling over and dying and creating a stench so people can walk in and say things like "dead" and "it smells like something rolled over and died here" or other things, this post will pone. Post-pone! kek.

So, when I was brainstorming for topics, I decided to write on something close to many of our hearts. The factors which induce gayness.

Factor #1: Older sister(s)
The logic behind this factor is bulletproof. People take after their older siblings and so having older sisters makes one effeminate. On the other hand, having younger siblings makes one try to become less like them, while they strive to become more like you. This, however, does not apply for older sisters 3-4 years older than you, as they are too busy to help you become gay.
Rarity: (2/5 - lots of people have older sisters)
Effect: (2/5 - this is where it gets more complex. after lots of research, I have found that having each younger sister reduces the base effect by 1, while each older sister increases it by 1)

Factor #2: Being artsy
While the first factor was rooted in logic, this one is pretty puzzling. Apparently, the arts (theatre, musical, etc) breed feminine traits. Hmm. This may have started when Leonardo da Vinci exercised his evil influence by become homosexual, but this has not yet been proven, despite advancements in modern science.
Rarity: (3/5 - not a lot of artsy people)
Effect: (4/5 - very potent; could possibly affect even arnold schwarzenegger)

Factor #3: Aligning oneself with someone else who is gay
Oho. This is killer. Peer pressure is one of the leading causes of drug abuse and turning gay. Not to say you should stay away. Just stay straight and you should be okay. That bout of rhyming poetry just gave me +1 gayness.
Rarity: - (2/5-4/5 - fluctuates depending on whether gay stocks are in bear or bull season)
Effect: (4/5 - very potent; could turn rambo gay)

Finally, it is time to grade yourself! Yaaaaaay reader interaction!
If you scored 5 points in "Effect" and above, you are turning gay.
If you scored 8 points and above, it's over.

Lastly, as an author's note, I would like to say that I am in no way discriminating against homosexuals, as the term "gay" I use profusely throughout this post is in a purely childish context, in which effeminate guys are all considered to be attracted to other guys. The statement on Leonardo da Vinci being homosexual was not discrimination. It is a FACT. If you still find yourself unable to continue reading due to moral dilemmas, feel free to interpret "gay" as "happy". I'm sure you'd be happy too, if you had 50 billion sisters one year older than you. Your mother would also have suffered excruciating pain.

disturbing news

This may or may not be old news for you, but it's a first for me.

The Bishan Gay has acquired a new weapon in his arsenal. INDEED. Now, aside from the Pedo-smile and the X-ray glasses (we all know that's why he keeps staring), he now has..........*drum roll* A CAMERA PHONE!!!!!! And he's getting good at it too, snapping away at little innocent boys strolling along in their tight, short, (yummy) pants. Ew, the Bishan Gay's shoes are not one to be standing in.

For more proof of his new gaybomb, you can refer to this video.



Beware.

milk *** tanuki...

Whoo. Haven't posted in really long. So then today I went to the hospital for my last appointment, which was to verify the test results of the aforementioned endoscopy.
Pros:
-Get to skip UNSW Writing Competition thanks to nifty appointment timing :D
-Nothing much wrong, except for inflammation
Cons:
-NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK TEA OMFGWTFBBQ

Evidently, the cons far outweigh the pros. It's quite gay, really. However, I plan to defy this by drinking tea occasionally when nobody is at home. Kek.

Another interesting thing happened during RE today. (RE is research education, much like IRS in primary school, for those who don't know) We were supposed to be doing our RE writing or whatever when Mr Tan (year head and physics teacher and ex-form teacher) walks by while we were playing a two-player flash game. Interesting conversation ensues:

Mr Tan: Hmmm. What RE project is this?
*everybody is nervously silent, but for some twisted reason Pek is hysterical*
Pek: *laughing* This RE project, this one! *closes window, revealing another browser window behind* MSN THAI!!! *laughs more*
Mr Tan: Harh. Oh really arh? *walks away*

This has confirmed two things. First, that Mr Tan is a nice teacher. Yay. ^_^ Second, and more importantly, that Pek is high on drugs. Or at least mentally unstable. Trivia: Did you know that 1 out of 6 adults has been reported to suffer from a mental illness? As such, it can be safely assumed that I and 4 other of Pek's acquaintances are perfectly sane. After all, if you don't know a crazy person, you are the crazy person.

On a side note, I have found out that the 7-Eleven outside Dhoby Ghaut MRT on the Plaza Sing side no longer sells bottled milk tea. -fin-

imba! ya-ha!

lol. Yes, I am feeling imba tonight. Why do I say so? Answer: I finished washing the dishes in record time! 3.5 minutes!!! MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

Now, dear readers (yes, to my surprise there appears to be more than one), you might be wondering what the "Ya-ha!" is for. After thinking through what I wanted to do during the holidays that would be productive, I decided to have long anime marathons. As of this moment, I have finished 2 short series, namely Alice Academy and Samurai 7 (which I had previously watched halfway, but decided to rewatch from the beginning). I have also caught up on the main three series I watch- Naruto, Bleach and One Piece. Lastly, I have just started watching Eyeshield 21, a funny, exciting, interesting anime about American Football (not rugby, due to certain vague differences). Go Wiki it or Google it or whatever.

On a slightly more negative note, I feel stupid. I tried to lower the TV volume with an air-con remote. Bleh.